NAMI HelpLine

August 20, 2014

By Anonymous Anonymous

I have been diagnosed for 10 years. It hasn’t been an easy trip. I would act so crazy to have everyone in my life either in denial or uneasy around me.  Before I was diagnosed my family thought i was having odd behavior to hurt them. It was the furthest from the truth. I’ve got journals over 20 years of lifetime experience with this disorder. The road to recovery isn’t easy. You see, I have both schizophrenia and bipolar. In sharing my story with you I ask that you have an open mind.

My grandma had mental illness, so from the time I was born it was normal to talk to people no one could see. Something tragic happened to me when I was 8 and I seen this figure known as Trent. It never occurred to me that he wasn’t real because my grandma could see people that weren’t there also.

When I was 22 I couldn’t leave my house because I thought people were out to get me. My boss told my mom that I needed treatment and i went to a therapist, but quit seeing her because I thought she was out to kill me.

Twenty six came along and I was in the middle of a full fledged psychosis.  I was walking in -7 degree weather barefoot on some great mission. Even then I realized I needed treatment  but had no clue how to go about it. My mom put me in the hospital because she feared for my life. While there, a fellow man with schizophrenia came up to me and started talking. I understood every word he said because my mind was thinking the same things about colors and their meaning. It was like an universal blueprint into the mind of schizophrenia. The healing process began.

Now at the age of 33 I know how to get treatment and my medication is working great. My therapist says I can be an advocate for having lived through this. I only want to heal others that are just starting out on this journey. I have much insight into both disorders. I know medication is a key component to making sure the disorder is managed.  

Thank you for your time. Happy healing.

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