Personal Stories


If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health, suicide or substance use crisis or emotional distress, reach out 24/7 to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (formerly known as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline) by dialing or texting 988 or using chat services at suicidepreventionlifeline.org to connect to a trained crisis counselor. You can also get crisis text support via the Crisis Text Line by texting NAMI to 741741.



Help Yourself and Help Others

Many people who don’t know me on a personal level may be surprised to learn that I have suffered with depression and anxiety—at times very severe—for over 15 years. I’ve always been an “emotional” or “sensitive” person, but in about 6th grade I realized I could not handle my emotions without becoming overwhelmed. My thoughts often turned to suicide and I began harming myself. I discovered writing and it became an outlet for me to express my pain. And yes, I was in pain mentally and physically. I hurt every day.  No one in my family or my circle of friends ever expressed any real concern about my condition. Instead it was mocked or joked about, so I assumed it was in my head and I could handle it myself.

Over the years my anxiety and depression got worse and I just continued to ignore it. It interfered with my relationships—be it family, friends, romantic, work, school. Every aspect of my life. After having my son, I developed what I know now was postpartum depression. I felt worthless, hopeless and again had thoughts of suicide. My mental state had gotten so bad it was destroying my marriage. Deep down I knew my inability to control my depression and anxiety was destroying my marriage and my family.

I finally made the decision to see a doctor and was put on an antidepressant and another medication for my anxiety. I have seen a vast improvement and am better able to cope with my life on a daily basis. I waited so long thinking I could fix myself and I was only hurting myself. I’m now at a happier place in life. Of course I worry that I’ll never be “normal” and able to function without the help of medication. I also worry that I could have passed my mental health issues to my children.  But, for now all I can do is live day to day and remember that I cannot control everything. I am thankful that I now have a support system in my wonderful husband, family and close friends.

Depression and anxiety are very real and so many people suffer from them. I wish there wasn’t such a stigma about mental illnesses. Maybe then people, like me, wouldn’t wait so long—or never at all—to seek help. If anything I have said can encourage one person to get help for any issue they may be having, then I will be happy.

 


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