Sentenced to Life

On June 24^th, 2009, Mark Becker walked into the Parkersburg, Iowa, high school weight room and shot his former high school football coach, Ed Thomas. 

These were the headlines in the local, state, national, and even world-wide news almost six years ago. No one could determine ‘why’ Mark Becker would do such a horrendous act to a man who was a pillar in this small town’s community; a man who helped rebuild our small town from a tornado that had devastated almost a third of our homes just a year prior, and a man who Mark respected. 

As Mark’s parents we were reeling with the news of what had taken place that tragic morning. Not only had Ed Thomas been a teacher to my husband, me, and our three sons; but our families went to church together, my husband served as a deacon with Ed, and Ed was our adult Sunday school leader for almost 30 years. You see, what the public did not know, and would not know until almost a year later, is the struggle we had faced in attempting to get our son help for an illness we could not understand nor identify.

Mark was a handsome bright young man who was popular in school, athletic, smart, artistic, and a hard worker. He was very active in school, church, family, and community. He worked at the local grocery store in our small town of 2,000 and had a bright smile for everyone. 

When Mark was sixteen we started seeing changes in him; he became more withdrawn, quiet, dark circles under his eyes, distant, and in his own world.  Although we attempted to draw him out and find out what was wrong he assured us he was fine.  It wasn’t long and we found out he had tried out marijuana. He justified it by saying it helped quiet things…helped him escape. Mark received counseling and proceeded to do quite well in high school in spite of a couple setbacks along the way. He was struggling with what we “thought” was depression. 

After high school graduation Mark began a roller coaster ride with us, his parents, hanging on for dear life. Over the next three years Mark enrolled and began courses in college three separate times. He held eleven different jobs of which his employers stated he was an excellent worker…but moving twelve times within the same time frame depicted Mark’s chaotic life of starting and stopping things over and over again. As parents we helped Mark (when he would agree to it) to see his family doctor, our local clinic’s therapist, church mentors, and counselors. Nothing was consistent and although we could see serious deterioration in our son’s health we did not know how to help him. 

By June of 2008 Mark’s health worsened considerably. We had moved him back home, per his request, and he managed to get yet another full-time job and loved it. My husband and I were very concerned about Mark as we noticed very odd behavior…behavior we had not ever noticed before. We noticed such a distance in Mark…sort of like he wasn’t able to even hear us when we talked to him. Again we attempted to communicate with him. I would ask him a question and it would take minutes for him to respond…sort of like he “snapped” out of it and realized I was talking to him. He was distracted…a million miles away. He was talking to himself a lot and it appeared that he was talking to someone actually in the room. 

September was when we first observed Mark in a full-blown psychotic episode.  What a nightmare when we awoke to hearing Mark yelling and screaming from his room in the basement! Dave and I were terrified of what we heard and saw our son experiencing. He believed he was being attacked by goons and begged us to help him. He was physically in pain, his face was swollen and contorted, his voice even sounded different. As parents we had no idea what was going on and attempted to explain that there was no one in the room. Of course we now know the futility of attempting to communicate with someone in a full-blown psychotic episode. Mark believed by this point that we were involved in a conspiracy against him and ended up yelling he was better off dead and leaving the house. 

We ended up calling the sheriff for help and Mark was committed to a hospital mental health unit; being released seven days later with no diagnosis, court ordered treatment (of which we were not privy to due to HIPPA), and sent back home to live with us.   

This event led to a series of attempts to help find help for our son and to find help for ourselves so we could try to understand what our son was experiencing. What a battle! During this nine months from September through May Mark experienced eight severe psychotic episodes resulting in hospital stays of nineteen days. Dave and I had to call our local sheriff department eight times for help in controlling Mark. Although we didn’t have rights to know any specifics of Mark’s counseling or supposed treatment (we didn’t even know there was a form Mark could have filled out for this purpose) we called agencies/counselors fifteen times to report Mark’s erratic, uncontrollable, and sometimes life-threatening behavior. By now we were at the point that if Mark began to display psychosis I left the house to stay with other family members for my safety.

Although it felt like we kept getting doors slammed in our face wherever we turned, we finally thought we had turned a corner by May when the local county agency changed Mark’s orders to a different service provider. Mark had, on his own, managed to obtain yet another job by now and the new agency got Mark set up in his own apartment. Mark had not yet received any diagnosis for his condition but this agency “thought” it was paranoid schizophrenia and assured us they would get Mark into a psychiatrist so he could be diagnosed and started on medication….nine months of torment for Mark let alone the rest of us living through it with him…and still no diagnosis or medication! 

The unraveling began on Saturday, June 20^th, when I received a phone call from our sheriff telling me Mark was okay. I told him, “Yes, he’s okay…he was just at our house an hour ago to have ice tea with me and his dad.” The sheriff told me that was impossible as Mark was involved in a high speed chase that started about 20 miles away from our house and proceed back towards our place when Mark’s car hit a deer and he was forced off the road. The sheriff said he arrived on the scene just after Mark raged out of the car and officers had their guns drawn with Mark on the ground. 

The sheriff attempted to get Mark back to the hospital of his prior mental health commitments but there were no beds available. He was taken to yet another hospital and we were told he would be there seven days.Three nights later Mark called us and asked if he could spend the night at home. He said he had been released from the hospital and that he was locked out of his apartment. We were incredulous that our son had been released and proceeded to pick him up and bring him home. 

The next morning Dave and I went to work assuring Mark his dad would be home in a few hours to take him to his apartment. Less than an hour later our neighbor called Dave to inform him about Coach Thomas’ shooting and told Dave there were law enforcement at our acreage. Meanwhile, I was told about the shooting by a coworker and received a call from my husband stating that it appeared Mark was involved. 

June 24^th, 2009, our son, Mark, believed he heard voices commanding him to kill Coach Thomas, me, and his dad because we were in a conspiracy to poison the minds of the children in our community. Mark believed he was working for high level law enforcement and was doing a very good thing for his community. The only reason my husband and I are alive today is that Mark struggled with the command to kill his parents because in the bible it says to honor your parents.  Mark told us he intended to act on that part of the command later in the day when we arrived home from work.

Mark was taken to a correctional facility to await his trial. While at this facility Mark was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. While at this facility Mark was finally given medication for his illness. While at this facility it took approximately six to ninth months for the thousands of voices to quiet and Mark to begin to know us as his mom and dad again. 

We are told by professionals that my husband and I are very fortunate to be alive. We are told by professionals (and we have no doubt) that Mark was insane at the time of the shooting. Our small county district court jury were faced with an overwhelming task of a huge public trial being filmed and a large media following. Jury members did not know what would happen to Mark if they found Mark ‘not guilty due to insanity’. We do not have jurors educated in the law and they did not understand that Mark would have been appropriately sent to a mental health facility. 

Our son is serving a Life Sentence in a state prison. We are very fortunate, however, that our state has a Medical Classification Center with a mental health unit. Mark has access to very good psychiatrists, psychologists, and counselors.  He has been treated with respect and we are seeing our son make the most of each day. With the voices “in check” Mark can once again play guitar, paint, draw, woodwork, and read. It is wonderful that our son can communicate with us and that we can visit him, give him a hug, and just talk. 

Mark is still coping with the horror that took place that day so long ago. He has communicated very deep feelings of sorrow about what has taken place and said he never meant to hurt someone he cared so deeply for. 

Dave and I prayed about how to cope with the huge losses in our lives; losing a thoughtful caring man and, in a sense, losing our son to a prison system…losing the dreams we had for our son. We had a choice to make; were we going to hide out on our beautiful peaceful acreage away from prying wondering eyes or would we somehow, some way, find a way to move forward and turn this heartbreak into something positive. It was extremely important to me to share our family’s story in hopes that our walk in this mental health system does not have to become someone else’s walk. 

I have been publically speaking for over five years to groups including mental health service providers, churches, communities, high schools, colleges, NAMI groups, and with legislators sharing our family’s story. Eyes are opened when they hear the details of what just one family experienced in this broken mental health system. I know this is a national issue, not just an issue in our state. I always encourage families and individuals to get connected with NAMI. We had never even heard of NAMI until the first day of our son’s trial when a NAMI rep handed my twin sister a card and said NAMI is here to help if we needed them.  Oh how we would have appreciated knowing about this group during this horrific walk with our son’s illness. 

My book has recently been published. Again, the intent of this book is to bring awareness and even hope to others walking down this lonely road of mental illness. I will continue to use MY VOICE to make a difference! I have nothing to lose…I’ve already lost so very much. 

Submitted by Joan C Becker, Mother of Mark Becker