Personal Stories

My diagnosis was just a fluke, I told myself. Two years later, back at home in Indiana, the symptoms returned. This time worse than the first time.

"I woke up one morning and decided to drive into the canyons with my dog, Puma. I was planning to die by suicide. When my attempt didn’t work, I figured God wasn’t ready for me to exit this life just yet."

When I was 26 years old, my symptoms of mental illness caused many problems for me. I started to have emotional problems for the first time and was hospitalized in Texas. One of my darkest moments was when I was having a lot of fear and feeling angry about life. 

I strongly believe that everyone can receive help from the use of positive coping skills. I encourage you to try some of mine out and find your personal variations—as all our journeys are different.

When we’re having a tough time, we tend to sit and dwell. So, let’s do the opposite. Let’s move and distract. If it seems simple, that’s because it is.

I’ve had to listen to "armchair psychologists" define what "crazy" behavior is and in the same breath say what a "crazy" party they went to the night before. Words are like that.

"Eating disorders can cause weight gain, weight loss or they can have no effect on weight at all. And all these eating disorder diagnoses are valid; one does not have to 'look sick' to be struggling."

I knew I needed counseling and sought it out, but the eight months following were a blur of jumping from therapist-to-therapist and medication-to-medication with no improvement. In fact, I was getting worse. 

Today, I am good. I won’t say great because there are days when I want to give up because I feel no one listens to me about mental illness. But I know I am helping some people.

I felt I had two options: Pick up the phone and ask for help or continue to be that officer with the stigma of not asking for help, because it’s a sign of weakness.