Fixing the Vase

Deep inside I knew they wanted my state to improve, but all they did was urge me to stop listening to those thoughts as commands. “Ignore them!” they said. They just didn’t understand it wasn’t under my control.

You have the power to acknowledge your pain, your fear or even your mental health condition. I applaud those of you who have the strength to be vulnerable, real and open about your struggles. Because it is not easy. You are a true inspiration. 

Depression convinces me—in my own voice nonetheless—that whatever is bad will only get worse.

I have struggled with my thoughts for as long as I can remember. In elementary school, I would think about suicide before I even knew what suicide was. I never planned my future or said what I wanted to be when I grew up because I didn’t think I would ever get there.

I was two hours away from home in a hospital where I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I was relieved, but scared because I had only heard horrible things about this condition.

It wasn’t until I was 24 years old and in early recovery from addiction, that I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It took me a long time to accept the fact that I had this diagnosis.

As part of my recovery, I learned as much as I could about schizophrenia, which further deepened my compassion for those with mental health conditions and their loved ones. I now speak about the resources available from NAMI at a local hospital and teach the NAMI Family-to-Family class.

Admitting that we need assistance never makes us less of a person. It simply means that we are the bigger person because we are willing to admit that we have a problem and we want better for ourselves and our children.

I think a lot about the fact that people who don’t live with mental health conditions really don’t have a clue about what the experience is like for those of us who do.

What you feel and witness on a daily basis cannot be imagined by many, yet you stand tall in the face of fear.