31 Stories, 31 Days: Kris and John Wilkinson

Have you ever had a day where you felt numb and confused? This happened to me today. I imagined myself in another person’s body looking down at myself. I saw someone I’ve never met before.

There may be people who don’t understand and incorrectly judge you, but there will also be people who care for you and will be there for you. I can’t express how thankful I am for those who have been—and continue to be—patient with me.

Just imagine yourself doing daily routines and out of nowhere you feel panicky, anxious, your heart starts to race… This is what life with anxiety is like for me and many others.

This story is my attempt to communicate how critical it is to not only provide adequate mental health services to everyone, but to end stigma as well.

Living with a mental health condition can have major setbacks, especially in relationships. These relationships can include friendships, family and romantic relationships.

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder my Junior year in college. I was failing out and my family thought I should get checked for any learning disorders and psychological issues. What we found was that I was living with bipolar II.

I can’t really explain it, but after my accident, something just clicked inside of me. After that day, everything was different. Suddenly, I had this will to live—something I never remembered ever having.

I wish I could tell them that when I say I don’t feel well, it’s not just a headache or stuffy nose. I wish they knew not feeling well meant I haven’t left my house in a week or haven’t brushed my hair for three days.

We are all fighting something and I hope you continue fighting. There is no shame in needing someone in your corner for this fight, and there’s no shame in admitting you cannot do it alone.

Shame kept me silent for a long time, until the walls that concealed my secret finally crumbled under the weight it carried.