When No One Else Understands

Social media today seems to be crowded with young adults and young teens starting what seems to be what I would call a, “namaste” movement. It’s become so popular to be “zen” and “at peace” that so many people are preaching these beliefs without truly knowing what living a true life at peace would mean.

It’s not a bad thing of course, to feel happy and to share happiness with others, but there’s something that these people seem to not take into consideration.

Everyday I’m bombarded by at least a few tweets, or pictures on tumblr, something along the lines of..

“Negativity is pointless, just be free.”

“You can never achieve happiness if you only have negative thoughts.”

Always something along the lines of, “you get what you give” to people, to the world, everything.

I can’t say I don’t agree with that. But do the people that boast about their happiness everyday, selfishly to the point that every unhappy person is “failing at life”, or “just not trying hard enough”, do they know what it’s like to live with an illness?

I’ve recently been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and it’s been a confusing journey. I’m still at a point where I feel that I’m confused and don’t know what’s really going on in my head.

I’m not supposed to be shy, it’s not me, but my social anxiety makes me feel like it is, and like I don’t belong anywhere.

Some days my depression makes me feel like I’m living in an endless dream.

And sometimes, on ok moments, and even manic ones, I can relate to the people who just want to bring peace, for others to be happy.

But do they know it’s not always that simple for everyone?

It’s not my fault, I wish I could live in your world, but what you do that’s so simple is like walking on broken legs for me.